#28: A is for Attitude

Talking with my companion this morning I related an experience I had over a year ago before this whole crazy adventure started. It was back in the spring of 2011 and I was getting ready to graduate. I had spent the last 18 years of my life in school. My whole life to that point had been focused on my formal education. Don't get me wrong—I had church, friends, family, extracurriculars, work, etc. tied in there as well—but for the past 18 years if someone had asked me what I did or who I was, my response was "I'm a student." My identity was wrapped up in my schooling.

I was a student. That’s what I did. That’s who I was.

With graduation looming, and in the midst of the excitement of finally finishing my degree I was struck with a moment of panic. I wouldn’t be in school any more.

And if I wasn’t a student…

...then who was I?

Yes, panic took over for a moment. Fear of the unknown was starting to creep in and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to find out what life outside of college looked like. The mountain in front of me looked awfully intimidating. But then I had this wonderful sense of freedom come over me. I wasn’t a student anymore. I wasn’t anything right now. And that meant I could be anything I wanted. I didn’t have any labels; I wasn’t stuck in any ruts. I was at the bottom of the mountain and I could pick any trail I wanted to climb. And with that simple change of attitude about the situation, my perspective was transformed and what was initially frightening became exciting and engaging.

Any situation we find ourselves in can be transformed into an opportunity if we will approach it with the right attitude. I’m not perfect at this but I’m working on it and every time I get a little closer, I find greater joy for life and its many opportunities. I know the same can happen for you.

A is for Attitude

#20: Fatherhood is Leadership

In honor of Father's day, I'd like to talk about the powerful influence a righteous father has on his family. I was luck enough to be born into a home where I was raised by righteous parents. Because of them, I have been very blessed in many aspects of my life. My father's example and influence on me has shaped much of who I am today. The prophets and apostles have counseled us many times about how to be a righteous father and how to spot one.

Elder M. Russell Ballard said:

"Fathers are expected by God and His prophets not only to provide for their families but also to protect them. . . On a day-to-day basis, fathers can and should help with the essential nurturing and bonding associated with feeding, playing, storytelling, loving, and all the rest of the activities that make up family life."

It has also been said:

“The home is where we learn what is right, what is good, and what is kind. It is the first school and the first church.” (O. Leslie Stone, Ensign Nov. 1976)

I was looking through the different values taught in the For The Strength of Youth pamphlet. I realized that all of those things had been taught to me already by my parents before I ever read them in a pamphlet. Values like Education, Work and Self Reliance, and Honesty and Integrity were important to my dad and so they became important to me.

My dad taught me how to be useful. Because of him I learned to do things like change a tire, use a pressure washer, paint a house, tape drywall, drive stick shift. He taught me how to work—and to work hard even when no one was watching.

3 Nephi 14:9-11 talks about how even imperfect fathers know how to give good gifts. My dad knows how to give good gifts. One of my all time favorite Christmas presents was a toolbox I got from him a few years ago. The tools themselves were very nice and I was glad to have them but what made the gift so memorable was the letter I got with it. In the letter, Dad talked about taking care of the tools you're given and using them wisely—and how with the right tools, you can do anything. That letter has stuck with me and impacted my life in a significant way. So has my dad's faith in me that I could do anything.

Elder M. Russell Ballard also said:

“Trust your father. He is not perfect, but he loves you and would never do anything he didn't think was in your best interest. So talk to him. Share your thoughts and feelings, your dreams and your fears. The more he knows about your life, the better chance he has to understand your concerns and to give you good counsel.”

When making big decisions in my life (college majors, work opportunities, serving a mission), I've turned to my dad for counsel and he's always given very thoughtful advice.

One last quote about fatherhood, this time by President Spencer W. Kimball:

“Fatherhood is leadership—the most important kind of leadership. It has always been so; it always will be so. Father, with the assistance and counsel and encouragement of your eternal companion, you preside in the home. It is not a matter of whether you are the most worthy or best qualified, but it is a matter of law and appointment. You preside at the meal table, at family prayer. You preside at family home evening. And, as guided by the Spirit of the Lord, you see that your children are taught correct principles. It is your place to give direction relating to all of family life. You give fathers' blessings. You can take an active part in establishing family rules and discipline. As a leader in your home, you plan and sacrifice to achieve the blessing of a unified and happy family. To do all of this requires that you live a family-centered life.”

I am grateful for a father who took prophetic counsel to heart and has tried his best to be the father that God intended him to be.

#19: I've been out here for how long?!

Six months ago today I said goodbye to life as I knew it and walked into a totally new phase of my life. Looking back, I still can't believe I made this decision. I've already realized that it's going to effect every aspect of the rest of my life. And I'm only 1/3 of the way through this crazy experience!

Things I've done in the last 6 months (in no particular order):

-seen the ocean
-seen people find lasting happiness by following a few simple commandments
-eaten an artichoke
-knocked on strangers' door and invited them to learn more about Jesus Christ and the Book of Mormon
-learned that it is humanly possible to be joined at the hip to someone 24/7 for 6 solid months. (That's 264,960 minutes straight, for the record)
-seen people use the Atonement of Jesus Christ to become better than they were
-eaten shrimp
-learned how to make things out of duct tape
-had my core convictions challenged by very angry people
-looked those very angry people firmly in the eye and told them exactly what I believe
-realized that God is the best planner. Ever. Period.
-prayed for miracles
-seen miracles
-checked an empty mailbox one more time (just to make sure we didn't miss anything)
-volunteered to give up chocolate for a MONTH just to get someone to stop smoking
-broken into a baptismal font just so someone could make covenants with God
-grown closer to Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost than I've ever been in my life

Obviously this list doesn't even come close to everything that's happened in the last 6 months. But it's a start.

I am so grateful that Heavenly Father took a chance on me and let me come out here. I may have come out here to try and pay Him back for all He's done for me--but I ended up even more in debt to Him. Guess that's life.

I love my life!

#18: A Tale of the Old West

Faith,
                 Hope
                       and Charity.
                                                                  These three always go together. And I don't know about anyone else out there but I always had a hard time keeping faith and hope separate in my mind...they just seem to be used interchangably but I know they're different (otherwise the phrase "faith, hope, and charity" would be completely redundant). So what's the difference?

This morning, I was thinking back on a story one of my teachers told me years ago (I told you that you made a difference, Brother Butterfield!!). This story has stuck with me all this time because of how it demonstrates faith and hope and what the difference is. Here's the story as I remember it:

A man is wandering through the desert, dying of thirst. His canteens are hanging empty at his side. Just when he thinks all is lost, he comes upon a deserted town. In the middle of this ghost town is an old, dried-up well. Next to the pump the man finds a small jug of water and a note:

"Use this water to prime the well."

The story can take two different routes at this point. In one version of the story, the man isn't willing to take the chance on this old well and drinks the water in the jug instead. This tale doesn't have a very happy ending and the man perishes in the desert before he can reach civilization.

In the other version of the story, the man decides to take a leap of faith and trust that his sacrifice will lead to enough water to restock his supply so he can survive until he gets out of the desert. Here's where the tie-in to faith, hope and charity comes in:

Pouring the water down the well to prime the pump is FAITH. Faith is an action. In this case, the man's faith comes by testing the promise on the note.

Now, can the man just sit there and "hope" the well starts working? No--he has to pump the handle for all he's worth! That's real hope. HOPE is what sustains you between an act of faith and when you receive the promised blessing.

Where does charity fit in this situation? The man can demonstrate CHARITY by refilling the jug for the next person that comes along.

I love this analogy. Faith, hope and charity are all action words and this helps me to remember that to really have faith, hope, or charity I have to show it. I hope this story helps you remember the differences between these three principles and how important ALL of them are.

And, no matter what your circumstances are--never, never give up hope!

#17: Willfully Rebellious--The Seatbelt Reminder

Once upon a time I was riding in the car and we were just going around the corner (maybe 100 yards) so I didn't fasten my seatbelt. The little bell that goes off to remind you to wear your sealtbelt started chirping (ding.......ding.......ding........ding........) and I ignored it because we were only going a short distance. Normally I fasten my seatbelt by the time it starts dinging but this time I was feeling somewhat rebellious and decided just to wait it out. To my surprise (and annoyance) the warning came faster and more persistent (DingDingDingDing!). No, I thought, we're almost there, I'll be fine without it. Finally, shortly before we arrived at our destination, the car went silent. No more ringing noise. We got out of the car and went on with our afternoon. But the thought that kept coming back was that there's a gospel analogy hidden in that experience...  :)

Ignoring what you've been taught and what the Spirit is prompting you to do is known in the scriptures as being willfully rebellious. The seat belt reminder is like the warning voice of the Holy Ghost. If you're being disobedient, the Spirit will send you gentle promptings to change your behavior or course of action. If it's really important, the warnings will get more frequent and more persistent. (Sound familiar?) But just like the car alarm, if you ignore the Spirit long enough eventually it will go away and leave you to face the consequences of your actions.

So remember to buckle up...and follow the promptings of the Spirit!

#15: Embrace this day!

This blog isn't very original (as if the other ones are...) but I read an article that one of my sisters sent me (you can read the whole thing here) and it had some wonderful pointers on how to grow closer to the influence of the Holy Ghost and how to stay focused on the most important things in our lives. I wanted to share the author's thoughts with you in the hopes that they affect you as much as they affected me when I read them.

* Embrace this day with an enthusiastic welcome, no matter how it looks. The covenant with God to which you are true enables you to become enlightened by him, and nothing is impossible for you.

 

* When you are physically sick, tired, or in despair, steer your thoughts away from yourself and direct them, in gratitude and love, toward God.

 

* In your life there have to be challenges. They will either bring you closer to God and therefore make you stronger, or they can destroy you. But you make the decision of which road you take.

 

* Put all frustrations, hurt feelings, and grumblings into the perspective of your eternal hope. Light will flow into your soul.

 

* God knows that you are not perfect. As you suffer about your imperfections, he will give you comfort and suggestions of where to improve.

 

* God knows better than you what you need. He always attempts to speak to you. Listen, and follow the uncomfortable suggestions that he makes to us--everything will fall into its place.

 

* Avoid any fear like your worst enemy, but magnify your fear about the consequences of sin.

 

* When you cannot love someone, look into that person's eyes long enough to find the hidden rudiments of the child of God in him.

 

* Never judge anyone. When you accept this, you will be freed. In the case of your own children or subordinates, where you have the responsibility to judge, help them to become their own judges.

 

* If someone hurts you so much that your feelings seem to choke you, forgive and you will be free again.

 

* Avoid at all cost any pessimistic, negative, or criticizing thoughts. If you cannot cut them out, they will do you harm. On the road toward salvation, let questions arise but never doubts. If something is wrong, God will give you clarity but never doubts.

 

* Avoid rush and haste and uncontrolled words. Divine light develops in places of peace and quiet. Be aware of that as you enter places of worship.

 

* Be not so much concerned about what you do, but do what you do with all your heart, might, and strength. In thoroughness is satisfaction.

 

* The pain of sacrifice lasts only one moment. It is the fear of the pain of sacrifice that makes you hesitate to do it.

 

* Be grateful for every opportunity to serve. It helps you more than those you serve.

* And finally, when you are compelled to give up something or when things that are dear to you are withdrawn from you, know that this is your lesson to be learned right now. But know also that, as you are learning this lesson, God wants to give you something better.

I know that some (or most) of these bullet points are easier said than done but I felt the truthfulness of these statements when I read them and I know that acting on them will lead to greater happiness. Even if you can only pick one to focus on, let that one idea change you and bring you closer to the person God wants you to be. As it says above, "God knows better than you what you need. He always attempts to speak to you. Listen, and follow the uncomfortable suggestions that He makes to us--everything will fall into its place."

#3: Lean into the curves

This lesson learned may be a bit of a stretch so just go with me for a moment. I spent the other day with a different missionary companion than normal. We call these exchanges and the point is to learn from someone else's wisdom. Sister Powell was my exchange sister and we instantly connected over how much we have in common--namely, we both get carsick really easily. And it just so happened that our area was all mountains. If you're one of the fortunate ones that don't get carsick driving on mountain roads, send up a little prayer of thanks right now. I envy you. For those of you that get queasy just thinking about driving up a road filled with switchbacks, let me share the wisdom I gained from my weekend with Sister Powell:

Lean into the curves.

Simple right? I hadn't ever heard this advice before but I was definitely willing to try anything that might make driving more enjoyable. She told me to lean into the curves like you would if you were steering. So I tried it. It definitely took a conscious effort and I noticed two things right away. First, I noticed that it's instinctive to lean away from the curves. I had to remind myself to lean into the curves. The second thing I noticed is how much smoother the ride was when I did this. I didn't get nauseous at all! (this was a small miracle in and of itself by the way).

We were laughing about how that was the biggest lesson I learned the whole weekend--something that didn't even have to do with missionary work. As I thought about it later, I realized that there was a hidden meaning behind that advice. Just like traveling down the road, there are times in life when we're the passenger in a situation and there's someone else at the wheel. Whether it's your boss at work, your leader at church or your parents at home, there are times when someone else is driving and they take you around a curve in the road. When this happens, it's instinctive to lean away and say, no, we were going in another direction. You want to fight it. But if you lean into the curve--go with the change--things run a lot smoother. It takes conscious effort on our part, but by supporting our boss, leader, parent or whoever is driving we make the transition a much more pleasant experience and we are then free to enjoy the experience of arriving at our destination. So lean into the curve!