#23: The mystery of the forced manual labor

Last summer we painted our house (again). 

We tried to convince my dad that hiring the job out was the best way to go. But dad has a bad habit of making things like this a "family project" that we all do together. I never quite understood why we didn't just get someone else to do it or take what I thought would be an "easier way". Then I read this article about a dad who takes a project and turns it into an opportunity to have some face time with his kids. (You can check out the article here or just read it below.)

"Living in a small country town has its advantages, but one disadvantage is the mud in the spring. In an attempt to keep the mud outside the house, I planned to spread gravel on my dirt driveway. I had 60 tons of gravel brought in and left in two piles, which looked even bigger when I stood in front of them. In our town, people commonly have big trucks, trailers, tractors, front loaders, and backhoes. Me? I’m the guy with a shovel and a wheelbarrow.

I asked Rory, my 15-year-old son, if he would come out and help. He wasn’t the picture of enthusiasm, but he agreed....He was a teenager whose world was getting larger than the one his dad used to fill. I had never had any real problems with him, but he was no longer the little boy who would hold my hand and chatter as we walked. His world now included many activities and friends that took him outside the home. We still enjoyed each other’s company but found it harder to spend time together. I wouldn’t have guessed that moving gravel would facilitate openness between us, but on that day it did just that.

As we shoveled, each to our own rhythm, Rory started talking. At first we discussed the job at hand, but then the talk turned to other things that were on his mind. We discussed music that he was interested in. He was active in certain forums on the Internet and described the posted conversations. In school he had a psychology class, and we discussed some of the ideas. Then there was the topic of his friends, and several funny stories followed.

As we talked we filled the wheelbarrow, and then I would lift the load, wheel it to a bare spot, and dump it. I was pleasantly surprised when Rory followed me during these short intervals in order to keep up the conversation. I am pretty sure he didn’t know how much his willingness to talk meant to me. I tried not to let on. His talking so freely to me didn’t happen every day.

As we worked, blisters formed on my hands, but they were just a reminder of the sweet time I spent with my children, especially my oldest son.

Across the street a young construction contractor was building his house. While I was working, he was using a front loader to push the earth around the foundation of his home. It would have taken 20 minutes to get our job done with his powerful machine, but I was afraid he was going to come over and offer to help. I would have looked foolish turning down his help, but accepting it would have robbed me of the unexpected experience I was having with my children. Toward the end of the job, when I was exhausted, I wasn’t sorry. My children were still there and were still talking to me. Manually moving that gravel was the sweetest hard work I had ever done."

I'm guessing this is a big reason why dad made us do the work (I'm sure there were lots of other good reasons too, Dad...) This video clip was another big hint as to what was so important about all of us getting out there and doing the work ourselves. 

All in all, I'm grateful that my dad has always taken a "homegrown" approach to the jobs around the house (big and small). (That's easy to say now that I'm not living in the same state as my parents--can't get roped into a home improvement project for at least another 9 months haha) I have learned so much from my parents about how to work and take care of myself and those around me. The lessons learned and the time spent together were well worth the hours of manual labor.

#17: Willfully Rebellious--The Seatbelt Reminder

Once upon a time I was riding in the car and we were just going around the corner (maybe 100 yards) so I didn't fasten my seatbelt. The little bell that goes off to remind you to wear your sealtbelt started chirping (ding.......ding.......ding........ding........) and I ignored it because we were only going a short distance. Normally I fasten my seatbelt by the time it starts dinging but this time I was feeling somewhat rebellious and decided just to wait it out. To my surprise (and annoyance) the warning came faster and more persistent (DingDingDingDing!). No, I thought, we're almost there, I'll be fine without it. Finally, shortly before we arrived at our destination, the car went silent. No more ringing noise. We got out of the car and went on with our afternoon. But the thought that kept coming back was that there's a gospel analogy hidden in that experience...  :)

Ignoring what you've been taught and what the Spirit is prompting you to do is known in the scriptures as being willfully rebellious. The seat belt reminder is like the warning voice of the Holy Ghost. If you're being disobedient, the Spirit will send you gentle promptings to change your behavior or course of action. If it's really important, the warnings will get more frequent and more persistent. (Sound familiar?) But just like the car alarm, if you ignore the Spirit long enough eventually it will go away and leave you to face the consequences of your actions.

So remember to buckle up...and follow the promptings of the Spirit!

#15: Embrace this day!

This blog isn't very original (as if the other ones are...) but I read an article that one of my sisters sent me (you can read the whole thing here) and it had some wonderful pointers on how to grow closer to the influence of the Holy Ghost and how to stay focused on the most important things in our lives. I wanted to share the author's thoughts with you in the hopes that they affect you as much as they affected me when I read them.

* Embrace this day with an enthusiastic welcome, no matter how it looks. The covenant with God to which you are true enables you to become enlightened by him, and nothing is impossible for you.

 

* When you are physically sick, tired, or in despair, steer your thoughts away from yourself and direct them, in gratitude and love, toward God.

 

* In your life there have to be challenges. They will either bring you closer to God and therefore make you stronger, or they can destroy you. But you make the decision of which road you take.

 

* Put all frustrations, hurt feelings, and grumblings into the perspective of your eternal hope. Light will flow into your soul.

 

* God knows that you are not perfect. As you suffer about your imperfections, he will give you comfort and suggestions of where to improve.

 

* God knows better than you what you need. He always attempts to speak to you. Listen, and follow the uncomfortable suggestions that he makes to us--everything will fall into its place.

 

* Avoid any fear like your worst enemy, but magnify your fear about the consequences of sin.

 

* When you cannot love someone, look into that person's eyes long enough to find the hidden rudiments of the child of God in him.

 

* Never judge anyone. When you accept this, you will be freed. In the case of your own children or subordinates, where you have the responsibility to judge, help them to become their own judges.

 

* If someone hurts you so much that your feelings seem to choke you, forgive and you will be free again.

 

* Avoid at all cost any pessimistic, negative, or criticizing thoughts. If you cannot cut them out, they will do you harm. On the road toward salvation, let questions arise but never doubts. If something is wrong, God will give you clarity but never doubts.

 

* Avoid rush and haste and uncontrolled words. Divine light develops in places of peace and quiet. Be aware of that as you enter places of worship.

 

* Be not so much concerned about what you do, but do what you do with all your heart, might, and strength. In thoroughness is satisfaction.

 

* The pain of sacrifice lasts only one moment. It is the fear of the pain of sacrifice that makes you hesitate to do it.

 

* Be grateful for every opportunity to serve. It helps you more than those you serve.

* And finally, when you are compelled to give up something or when things that are dear to you are withdrawn from you, know that this is your lesson to be learned right now. But know also that, as you are learning this lesson, God wants to give you something better.

I know that some (or most) of these bullet points are easier said than done but I felt the truthfulness of these statements when I read them and I know that acting on them will lead to greater happiness. Even if you can only pick one to focus on, let that one idea change you and bring you closer to the person God wants you to be. As it says above, "God knows better than you what you need. He always attempts to speak to you. Listen, and follow the uncomfortable suggestions that He makes to us--everything will fall into its place."