Monday, June 18, 2012

#20: Fatherhood is Leadership



In honor of Father's day, I'd like to talk about the powerful influence a righteous father has on his family. I was luck enough to be born into a home where I was raised by righteous parents. Because of them, I have been very blessed in many aspects of my life. My father's example and influence on me has shaped much of who I am today. The prophets and apostles have counseled us many times about how to be a righteous father and how to spot one.

Elder M. Russell Ballard said:

"Fathers are expected by God and His prophets not only to provide for their families but also to protect them. . . On a day-to-day basis, fathers can and should help with the essential nurturing and bonding associated with feeding, playing, storytelling, loving, and all the rest of the activities that make up family life."

It has also been said:

The home is where we learn what is right, what is good, and what is kind. It is the first school and the first church.” (O. Leslie Stone, Ensign Nov. 1976)

I was looking through the different values taught in the For The Strength of Youth pamphlet. I realized that all of those things had been taught to me already by my parents before I ever read them in a pamphlet. Values like Education, Work and Self Reliance, and Honesty and Integrity were important to my dad and so they became important to me.

My dad taught me how to be useful. Because of him I learned to do things like change a tire, use a pressure washer, paint a house, tape drywall, drive stick shift. He taught me how to work—and to work hard even when no one was watching.

3 Nephi 14:9-11 talks about how even imperfect fathers know how to give good gifts. My dad knows how to give good gifts. One of my all time favorite Christmas presents was a toolbox I got from him a few years ago. The tools themselves were very nice and I was glad to have them but what made the gift so memorable was the letter I got with it. In the letter, Dad talked about taking care of the tools you're given and using them wisely—and how with the right tools, you can do anything. That letter has stuck with me and impacted my life in a significant way. So has my dad's faith in me that I could do anything.

Elder M. Russell Ballard also said:

Trust your father. He is not perfect, but he loves you and would never do anything he didn't think was in your best interest. So talk to him. Share your thoughts and feelings, your dreams and your fears. The more he knows about your life, the better chance he has to understand your concerns and to give you good counsel.”

When making big decisions in my life (college majors, work opportunities, serving a mission), I've turned to my dad for counsel and he's always given very thoughtful advice.

One last quote about fatherhood, this time by President Spencer W. Kimball:

Fatherhood is leadership—the most important kind of leadership. It has always been so; it always will be so. Father, with the assistance and counsel and encouragement of your eternal companion, you preside in the home. It is not a matter of whether you are the most worthy or best qualified, but it is a matter of law and appointment. You preside at the meal table, at family prayer. You preside at family home evening. And, as guided by the Spirit of the Lord, you see that your children are taught correct principles. It is your place to give direction relating to all of family life. You give fathers' blessings. You can take an active part in establishing family rules and discipline. As a leader in your home, you plan and sacrifice to achieve the blessing of a unified and happy family. To do all of this requires that you live a family-centered life.”

I am grateful for a father who took prophetic counsel to heart and has tried his best to be the father that God intended him to be.

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